A few weeks ago my wife and I went with a group of people from our church on a mission trip to Belize. We worked with families and kids in their schools, churches, and villages. While we were there we had the opportunity to lead a parenting seminar for about 50 moms and dads. We wondered if we would be able to relate to their culture enough to really be helpful. As it turns out, they were dealing with many of the same challenges that we face; discipline, authority challenges, disrespect, media, peer pressure, and disobedience. The situations were somewhat different, but even in Belize parents were looking for answers. I did notice something that caught my attention though; parents seemed to be raising not only “free-range chickens”, but also “free-range kids”.
What is that you might ask? Well from morning until night the kids were outside making their own choices about the activities of their day. The kids usually chose to come to school because that’s where other kids were and where they would be served lunch, but then they would walk around their villages, talk with friends, play, etc. The village chickens did the same thing. Of course the chickens were not as worried about eating lunch, as they were about becoming lunch. When we got back to the states I actually heard a radio talk show where they were talking about “free-range parenting”. I Googled it and guess what? It’s a thing! Yeah, there’s a movement in the U.S. that promotes the opposite of being a “helicopter parent”. “ Free-range parenting is the concept of raising children in the spirit of encouraging them to function independently and with little parental supervision, in accordance of their age of development and with a reasonable acceptance of realistic personal risks. On the other hand, Helicopter parenting refers to "a style of parents who are over-focused on their children. They are usually over-protective and want to be with their child in every situation. Both parenting styles are a little extreme in my opinion. There are situations, based on your child’s age, when you need to be very involved and protective, and there are those times when you need to offer more freedom. I guess what I’m saying is when it comes to being a great parent, you need to keep your head and your heart in the game, but your hand must be willing to close or open based on the situation, your values, and your convictions. My neighbor has three chickens. Most of the time they are in a pen. When that’s the case, they can’t roam around the yard. But, while in the pen, they are protected from predators as well. On a pretty day though, when my neighbor is out in the yard, she let’s them roam around spreading their wings and seeking out fresh worms. Maybe as parents, we need to balance our styles with the goal of helping our children to safely mature under God’s watchful eye. And remember, James 1:5 says “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Ric Callahan
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AuthorRic Callahan has served the Church as minister to youth, children, and families for 37 years. He and his wife, Carla, have a passion for motivating and encouraging parents to activiely pursue Godly leadership in their homes. They have raised two daughters who use their gifts in minsitry as well. Archives
May 2018
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