Most parents would agree that compassion is an essential ingredient
in a healthy family. I mean family members should care about each other, right? But for some reason, what many families demonstrate on an ongoing basis is just the opposite. I get it, sometimes there’s just a lot of kidding going on. But more times than not, the stress level in our homes is much higher than the “family health meter” will permit. What does it mean to be compassionate within your home? Lets look at it this way, Compassion = Empathy + Supportive Action. So, we must first define the word “empathy.” Empathy basically means to understand and share the feelings of another person. When your kids know that you understand what they’re going through, and they realize that you have, at times, felt that same emotion, it will help them be able to better manage difficult situations. The title you hold as parent will almost always impact how your family sees you. As a mom or dad, your actions, both good and bad, become magnified. Really great parents (those who are paying attention) understand the power of simply noticing when their kids need encouragement and appreciating them when they are experiencing “wins.” Listening to your child’s stories, picking up on their non-verbal communication, and even asking them questions is a form of showing compassion. The supportive action part of the equation is about lending a hand to help your child with something that’s special to them. Three ways to lend your support to your child includes standing with them when they are in tough situations, giving them your full attention when needed, and reaching out to them when they need direction. The important thing for you is to physically and emotionally be there for your child. Someday you may be surprised when your child offers you support during a personal trial. Don’t be. They learned it from you. And that’s a win! Awesome parents help their kids succeed! In this process, please refrain from becoming the “Enabler” who is too helpful, and also from becoming the “Dictator” who is so focused on helping their kids that they take ownership of their work. Neither extreme is helpful for different reasons. Enablers don’t give the responsibility their kids are entitled to, and dictators don’t allow them to make their own decisions. Bringing out the best in your child should be your goal. Good parents help their kids take responsibility for their own growth, find their strengths, and create a vision for helping them learn new skills. In this way when issues arise, a parent can coach their kids rather than solve problems for them. Coaching boils down to three basic behaviors: listening, asking questions, and ensuring that your child follows through with the great advice you offered. Parents will never have happy, engaged kids if gratitude and compassion are not evident in the home. As the parent, you should be the first one to put compassion in action. Check out this Bible verse from Colossians 3:12: Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Lets do it! Ric Callahan
1 Comment
Gran
10/13/2017 07:07:13 am
Well said. You and Carla are awesome parents and always have been. Love you
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AuthorRic Callahan has served the Church as minister to youth, children, and families for 37 years. He and his wife, Carla, have a passion for motivating and encouraging parents to activiely pursue Godly leadership in their homes. They have raised two daughters who use their gifts in minsitry as well. Archives
May 2018
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